I don’t like bringing my purse to work because I either have to use the electronic storage bag system to secure it away which takes foreverrrrrr when all I want to do is just get home at the end of the night, or risk putting it in the completely open and unsecure upstairs cubbies because we can’t bring stuff like purses in the Cage. And I still need to have my driver’s license with me, ’cause you know, even though I live less than a mile from work there’s no way I’m walking through the South End of Springfield at 10:00 at night 😝 So I have this little zip-up pouch with all of my cards in it that I take out of my purse on the nights I’m working and I put it in my backpack.
And of course, tonight I went grocery shopping over the bridge in West Springfield and wouldn’t you know it? I’m standing in line at the self-checkout and looking through my purse to get my trusty old Stop & Shop card out beforehand and congratulating myself for being a well-prepared adult for once in my life when I realize I don’t have my card pouch with me. Why? Because it’s still in my backpack back at home.
So much for my self righteousness.
It’s 8:30 at night and I’m still recovering from what I call my “Grave Shift Jet Lag” (where I spend the Wednesday my shift ends forcing myself to stay awake as much as possible so I can get to sleep at a normal hour for the rest of the week I’m not working) and it was hard enough getting myself to the store in the first place. But what could I do? I had a bunch of cold stuff and I didn’t want to go around putting everything back like some shameful Poor Person who miscalculated her weekly shopping budget.
And maybe it isn’t shameful exactly what I had to do next… but when you are an introverted ball of anxiety who doesn’t like talking to anyone or even making eye contact while you’re out shopping it was still reallyREALLY difficult. I flagged down the employee working at the self checkout and asked her if I could leave my groceries there while I ran home to get my card.
But it doesn’t end there… because West Springfield is doing road work on Route 5. The tunnel is closed in one direction, and in the other direction it’s only one lane. And everyone and their brother seemed to be out on the roads. At 8:30 PM on a Thursday.
I had to fight through the traffic on Rt 5, merge into one lane, deal with the rotary, cross the dang Memorial Bridge, drive through all the lights and nonsense in downtown Springfield, run up 4 flights of stairs, hunt for the card pouch in my backpack, run back down the stairs, and drive all the way back to the Stop & Shop in West Springfield.
And no, there was no way I was taking 91. Because anxiety. Which meant I had to go back down Route 5 again. Which meant getting blinded by the police cruiser flashing their blue lights in the closed lane right before the tunnel for the second time that night. AND getting off Route 5 and going through that convoluted rotary/town square thing that’s in the main part of West Springfield which I have barely ever done. Because anxiety.
But I did it. I bought the groceries. And now I’m home. And Millie wants food. And I’ve been sitting here on my laptop for almost an hour not wanting to even get up and get into my pj’s.
Because anxiety.
I declare, with God as my witness, I shall never forget my card pouch again. (Except this is me so of course I will 🙃)